


Stitches

by SLUSH_IE



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fun fact: this was gonna be a DDLC fanfic but then it wasnt, Gay theater kids deal with a creepy virus and everything goes wrong, Gen, I started writing this over two years ago so that’s why it’s pretty baf, Jealousy, Kinda, LGBTQ+ characters, Lesbian Relationships, Minor Character Death, i had a dark mind two years ago okay?, i havent written this in forever but I’m gonna post it here cause why not, im also rewriting a lot of it bc it was horrible, im bad at tagging so now I’m just rambling oopsies, lots of trigger warnings, pining?, teenagers try to buy a new house at one point idk, thats why there’s people named Monika and Natalie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24778762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SLUSH_IE/pseuds/SLUSH_IE
Summary: Don't you remember me?I'm still here.Don't forget me.Or I'll forget you.Every little thing you've ever known,Will be gone.Forever.:)The first day of school should be normal, right? Then why is Lilana getting these weird text messages? And why is her sister...dead?MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS!! T/W for suicide, self-harm, depression, and drug use.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS NOTE BEFORE PROGRESSING INTO THE STORY!!
> 
> So hi. Hello. I began writing this story three years ago. It was bad, so I started to rewrite it about a year or two ago. But now I'm rereading it, and it's horrible. I hate how I progressed the plot. I find that I romanticized suicide, and I absolutely hate it. I now have an actual idea for a storyline, and I want to rewrite this story again. I'm not sure when that will be done, though.   
> So yeah. That's my warning. If you want, you can go ahead and read the rest, but I honestly don't really like it. It was originally supposed to be a DDLC fanfic/self-insert/rip off thing, so that explains certain aspects of it.

Don't you remember me?

I'm still here.

Don't forget me.

Or I'll forget you.

Every little thing you've ever known,

Will be gone.

Forever.

:)

* * *

I wake up, alarmed.

Well, I mean my alarm clock is going off, but something feels...I don't know...weird, different...?

I look around my room.

I feel...uncomfortable.

That was all a dream, right?

* * *

I go downstairs to get breakfast. I hear a knock at the door.

"Hey, Jax," I see my best friend standing with his uniform on.

"Heya, Lily! First day of school, am I right? Did Natalie already leave?"

I roll my eyes and smirk at him calling me Lily. I nod to his question. Natalie, my sister, is such an outgoing, amazingly smart girl. She volunteered at her school for sixth graders who don't know the way around the place, but in order to do that, she had to go to school an hour early, so she was gone when I woke up.

"Are you okay?" Jax asks me. I realize I'm tapping my foot a lot, something I do when I'm nervous.

"It's the first day of school, why would I be okay?" I respond.

"Oh, really?" He can always see right through me.

I roll my eyes again, "I have to go get dressed. Wait right here, okay?"

I go upstairs and open my closet. I take off my pajamas and replace them with my school uniform. I put my hair up into my usual ponytail (our school doesn't like our hair being down for some reason), and go back downstairs.

"Bye-bye, Ace." I rub my husky's ears and close the door behind me.

We chat for a little bit while walking to school.

"So, anyway," Jax changes the subject after I ask him such a childish question: Do you have a crush. That's what we are, children in a teenage body. "I heard what's happening with Monika. She's the worst, isn't she?"

I nod, "The worst," Monika has been teasing me since third grade, but now it's more than just teasing, it's being pushed around, spreading rumors, once she even hit me with a dodgeball in the face, then I had a black eye for a week. "But I'm fine. You had to hear about it sooner or later."

He stares at me intensely, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? You know you can trust me."

I shake my head, "I didn't want you to...I dunno, feel bad for me. Start treating me like I'm your baby sister."

He looks away, quickly, "No, you know I don't think of you like a baby sister..."

I tilt my head, "Then what do you think of me as?"

"I dunno, like a..." He can't finish his thought before I get pushed from behind, falling to the ground.

"Ow, watch it!" I say before looking up.

Monika.

With her hands on her hips, she looks exactly like the cliche, popular, rich, school mean girl. I guess that is what she is.

"Hi, lovebirds!" She giggles and bends down to look at me, "Hello, Lilana. Is your boyfriend walking you to school?"

I glare at her, "He's not my boyfriend."

Color rushes to Jax's cheeks, "Yeah, I'm not. Well, I am walking with her to school, but like she's not my...uh, whatever."

I stand up and walk inside the school, "Gotta get to homeroom. See ya later, Jax."

I put my head down on my desk. First days are never the best, but this one is gonna be the worst. Freshman year, tons of strangers walking around from different schools, new friend groups forming, while I'm stuck with Jax. Okay, I'm kidding on that last part. Jax is the best. Best friends since diapers. I don't remember much, but my mom told me the first time I saw him, I bawled my eyes out. I just wasn't used to being so close to someone who wasn't my mom. But, the second time I saw him, I was fine with it. Then we grew, and in kindergarten, he was in my class. Once a boy - Dexter, I think? - cut in front of me in line and Jax just pushed him out of the way. He got in trouble, sure, but the point is that he has been my best friend for years.

I hear whispering behind me, and giggles who I only know could be from two people, Monika and Cami. Cami is basically Monika's sidekick, helper, or follower, whichever one you want to call it. I turn around and glare at them both, "Guys, you do know it's very immature to talk about others literally behind their backs, right? I mean, nobody will want to be your boyfriend if you have a reputation like that," I smirk, "right?"

"Yeah, well it's very immature for you to-" Cami starts, but Monika cuts her off.

"My problem, Cami. It's very immature for you to go tattling on us like a five-year-old."

I roll my eyes, "The only time I did that was in, like, fourth grade, and in my defense, that was when you threw a meatball at my head during lunch."

Cami laughs out loud, "You did what?"

Monika glares at her, "Whatever," she grumbles.

The bell rings, and I stand up with my backpack slung over my shoulder. I look down at the schedule I was assigned to at the beginning of class. English Block, Room A104. I make my way up the stairs and walk into the classroom. I immediately see Jax and sit next to him.

"Monika sucks," I say.

"Excuse me?"

I turn around and sigh. Of course she's in my class. Just my fucking luck.


	2. Chapter 2

I walk out of the lunch line and sit where Jax and I agreed to meet, the round table on the far right of the cafeteria. I put down my lunch tray and start eating, but quickly put my spoon down after tasting what must be potatoes, vegetables, something salty and something sweet all mixed together. It is not good. I wait for Jax to emerge from the line as well with the same goop as I have. I take my cookie - the only thing that actually looks appetizing - and bite into it. Thankfully, it is not made by the school. They probably just ordered them. I hope.

"Lily!" Jax smiles and sits down on the seat opposite from me.

"Yo."

"Your head doing okay?"

I nod and put a hand to my forehead, "Yeah." At the end of English, Monika "accidently" pushed my head forward and hit it on the desk, since of course she just had to sit behind me with one of her other rich, popular friends. My teacher made me go to the nurse, even though I kept assuring her I was fine. And I am, just a small bump on my forehead.

Jax has a huge grin on his face.

"What did you do?" I ask him.

"Just passed my drivers test, which I guess you completely forgot about."

I smile, "You did? Oh, they grow up so fast," I pretend to wipe away a tear.

"Hey, I'm older than you by practically a year."

I shake my head, "9 months and 6 days. That is not a year."

He shrugs, "Almost. Anyways, I also get my mom's old-"

A girl who I recognize from homeroom walks up to our table and sits down. Her hair, dyed a mint green, is up in a high bun and her uniform is ripped at the cuffs. We immediately stop talking, unsure of what to do.

All of a sudden my phone starts vibrating like crazy. I reach into my pocket and check my phone.

5 messages from unknown number

I shrug and put my phone down. Probably a wrong number.

My phone keeps vibrating. I finally get fed up and look at the messages. Before I read any of them, I start typing in a message, saying they got the wrong number.

But then I see my name.

Lilana.

I know you.

You don't know me.

But you need to.

This will all come together in the end.

Everything is going exactly how I planned.

I slam down my phone, shaking.

"Lily? What's wrong?" Jax scoots over and sits right next to me.

"I...I don't know. I just got...I got the weirdest text. I don't know," I shake my head.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, and now even the girl with mint hair is looking in my direction. "It's okay, you're fine. Probably a wrong number or a prank or something.

I shake my head a million times, "No, it said my name. I don't know this person, Jax, I don't know what to do."

"You're just paranoid. It's fine. Maybe Monika found your number and wanted to play a prank on you."

I close my eyes.

"Let me see."

I look up at the mint girl. "Let me see," she repeats. Her voice is...strangely cute.

I show her my phone. She takes it from me and looks at the texts. Her grip hardens on the phone. "Weird," she mumbles. She looks back up at me, "Spammer. They're...able to find out your name and trick you into thinking you're being stalked. Just trying to scare you. I got the same message."

I take a deep breath, "Good," I look into her purple eyes, unable to look away. I swallow, "I dunno, I still feel like I'm gonna puke."

"Go to the nurse," she says.

"And where exactly is that?"

She sighs, "Follow me."

The nurse looks up from her desk when we walk into the clinic, "Names?"

"Clay Blackburne. I'm just bringing her here," Mint girl says.

The nurse looks at me, "Name?"

"Lilana Falkov."

She nods and looks at Clay, "You can leave now."

I look back at her, "Thanks...Clay."

She shrugs and walks out of the clinic.

The nurse - Mrs. Wilson, a woman who must be a hundred years old by now - tells me to lie down on one of the cots. I lie down and start thinking about Clay. I know I've seen her somewhere, not just from homeroom...

Wait. I do know where I recognize her from.

I try to remember the incident. It was seven years ago. Half my life ago. I was at the park with my sister and my mom. We were running around chasing each other when we heard a scream. A blood curdling scream. A girl rushed over to a man holding a young girl, probably five years old. The girl, a girl with dark hair and ends that were dyed mint green, tried punching him in the back. It was no use, it was a grown man versus a seven year old girl.

Then she started threatening him.

"Drop my sister, or I will kill you!"

That's when I started getting scared.

Then she started swinging her arms and legs, kicking and punching. She was strong.

But she barely hit the man.

She hit the girl.

He dropped the girl, finally, but she was bloody and unconscious.

Mint girl screamed, louder than she did before.

The ambulance came, so did the police.

The man was arrested.

But the girl was dead.

After about 20 minutes, I start to feel better and head back to class, fourth period, which is math. In fifth period, history, our class is going to the elective fair, where we choose our clubs and extracurricular stuff. I already know I'm going to choose theater arts for my elective. For clubs, I'm not sure. I mean, we don't have to join any clubs. Whatever.

Math was boring, all we learned was the schedule of what we were gonna learn this year of stuff. So, fifth period. Elective fair. I push through the halls to my fifth period class, which is on the third floor. History, A208. I sit down in a vacant seat just as the bell rings.

My teacher stands up from his desk, "Hello, students, I'm Mr. Mendoza. I'll be your history teacher this year. As you may know, the elective fair is starting soon, so if you could all stand up quietly and walk down to the soccer field?" Of course, nobody actually is quiet. We're teenagers. Do you expect us to follow rules that only 3rd graders follow?

We walk outside and I see tons of booths set up along the field. People are walking around, looking at each stand, figuring out which elective to choose. I walk down towards the field and look for the theater arts booth. I spot the stand: a red booth with a cardboard curtain and a Phantom of the Opera mask hot glued to it. I rush over to it but bump into someone.

"Ow!" A familiar voice shouts.

I look down and see the mint haired girl: Clay.

"Oh, it's you," she turns around and stands in line to sign up for theater arts. I stand behind her. "Uh, why are you following me?" She turns around again.

"I'm not. I just want to sign up for theater," I shrug.

She looks at me suspiciously. I notice she has dark eyeliner on and some eyeshadow, plus two lumps on either sides of her head under her hair. Must be a hybrid. Hybrids are basically kinda like werewolves, except mostly human and animal ears and tails. I myself am a fox hybrid. At school we aren't allowed to show our ears and tails, so he have to hide them. Most teenagers know how to, but some don't. Luckily I know how.

A couple minutes later, Clay writes her name down on a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard. The person running the booth, a pale skinned girl with very long black hair, even with it in a ponytail, keeps her eyes trained on Clay's lips. She finishes writing and hands the clipboard back to the girl. "Thanks...Clay," she says before Clay walks off.

The girl clears her throat, "Hi, I'm Jackie Rider. I'm the co-leader for theater! I'm so glad you decided to choose, or at least look into, theater as your elective. You can read this little pamphlet about what we will do in this elective, and once you're done, just sign your name on the paper!" She hands me a red pamphlet.

Jensen High School Theater Arts Program

Information Pamphlet

In theater arts, students will put

on productions and musicals

from Shakespeare to

Broadway. They will learn

to act, sing, and dance,

and then show off what they

have learned in a play voted

on by the students of Jensen

Highschool. They will do two of

these; one in the first

semester, and one in the

second semester. Thank you for

choosing Jensen High School's

theater arts program.

"Cool," I say and write my name down on the paper.

She smiles, "Thank you!" I walk away to find Jax.

I look for him at every stand I think he'd be at. Gaming, reading, writing, but he isn't there. Instead I see him at the soccer booth, signing his name. I walk over to him, confused.

"Jax, I thought you hated soccer," I tap his shoulder.

He turns around, and when we sees me, he starts blushing, "Uh, yeah, but my dad told me I have to do some sport or something..." he mumbles.

"Uh, okay?" He's never had to do something like this. He's always says how he hates PE and soccer. His dad never told him he had to do any particular extracurricular activity, so why now?

"Students, please make your way back inside to your fifth period classes," I hear a teacher through a megaphone.

"Uh, see ya," Jax says quickly and jogs over to the building.

"See ya?" I yell back, but he can't hear me.

My phone vibrates.

By the way,

Don't forget me.

:)


	3. Chapter 3

I walk as fast as I can home. Jax had to go somewhere after school so he couldn't walk with me, but I don't care. I need to get home. Quick. I feel so paranoid. Something bad is going to happen, I just know it.

When I unlock the door, Ace is there waiting for me. "Hi, Ace," I say and rub his ears. "You been a good boy?" He barks at me. "Good," I rush upstairs and knock on Natalie's door. Her school gets out an hour earlier than mine, so she should be home.

"Natalie?" I say. No response. "Natalie? You home?" Still nothing. I get impatient and walk through the door, "Natalie you have to answer-"

I get cut off by something horrid.

Something unbelievable.

No.

I'm dreaming.

I have to be.

"Natalie..." I fall to my knees, the smell of a dead body overwhelming me. "Natalie..." I wrap my arms around my stomach, trying to keep my lunch down. I finally get the strength to stand back up. I don't know why I'm not crying. I should be crying. Is there something wrong with me? I love her. She loves me.

She loved me.

I get my phone out, shaking, and dial 911.

She was the only person I could be completely honest with.

She was my best friend, better than Jax.

I knew so many secrets of hers.

Her crushes, her enemies, her best friends.

She threw all of it away.

She's only thirteen.

She was only thirteen.

When my mom saw Natalie in there, she screamed. She sobbed. I tried comforting her, but it was hard, because I was crying too. I can't explain in words how it feels to see your sister, your best friend, someone you've known for almost all your life, dead, right in front of you.

I couldn't sleep in the same house she ended her life in. I didn't want to leave my mom alone either, but she wanted to stay there. She was hysterical, saying that maybe Natalie would come to her senses and sleep on her bed, not hanging by the neck. She wanted to comfort Natalie and take away all of her terrible thoughts. I feel terrible for her. She can't think straight.

I walk to Jax's house alone. I have on my shoulder a bag I always used when Jax and I used to sleep over at each other's houses. It contains all my necessities.

I won't go to school tomorrow. I'll never to school again.

I knock on Jax's door and wait for him to open the door. I texted him earlier that I was coming to his house, but not why.

He opens the door.

I rush inside before he can say anything.

"Wait," he says, "your mom called me."

I fall to the ground and start sobbing uncontrollably. He follows me and drops to the ground with me, wraps his arms around me, and starts whispering in my ear. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay. You're safe, you're going to be fine," which makes me sob even more.

I shake my head, "Nothing is okay, nothing is fine!" I scream, "My sister's dead. Nothing is okay here! It'll never be okay, it'll never be the same," I hiccup. "She's dead and she's never coming back!"

He looks at me, "Let's get you to bed, you've had a long day."

I nod, glad we can stop talking about it. I set my things up on the couch, and fall asleep after nearly an hour of crying and thinking to myself.

I wake up to Jax's mom's voice.

"Good morning, Lilana. You should be heading home, I'll drive you okay?"

I look up at her, my eyes burning from crying so much.

We drive home.

Jax left before I woke up.

I wished he would be there.

I love him, absolutely love him.

My best and only friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that hurt


	4. Chapter 4

I walk to school alone for the first time in forever. The funeral was...terrible. I hated seeing my sister in the casket. Not moving, pale, cold...

At first I didn't want to attend, but eventually my mom dragged me out of the house. I'm glad she did.

I get to the school and go to my locker. I hope nobody knows about my sister.

"Hey, Lily." Jax comes up to me.

"Hey," I don't look at him.

"You alr-"

"I'm fine." I cut him off, "I can't talk right now. Homeroom starts soon." I walk past him to my class. I don't know what I'm mad about. I guess emotions get scrambled up from time to time.

Everytime someone asks if I'm ok or says something about Natalie, I get a pain in my heart, like it's broken. I heard you can die from a broken heart. All the stress put on you give you a heart attack or something. There's a part of my heart that I can never recover. It'll always be this way. Always.

I sit down in my seat and try to ignore Monika and Cami behind me.

"Hey, didn't you hear? Little Miss Lily's sister committed suicide! I mean, she did deserve it!" I hear Monika. I clench my fist. Don't punch her, don't punch her, don't punch her.

"Shut up," I say.

"What was that, Lilana? Sorry, couldn't hear you," Monika laughs with Cami.

"I said," I turn around in my seat, "shut. Up," I say loudly.

They giggle.

"Shut up! Don't you know suicide is not a joke? What if Cami commited suicide, huh? Oh wait, you wouldn't care, because you don't care about her! You only hang out with her because she's hot! I heard you talking about her behind her back! This proves you don't have a heart!" I start screaming at her. Now everyone in the class is staring.

"Lilana," my teacher says.

There's anger, sadness, and pure emptiness in my eyes when I turn around to face him.

He stands up, "Come with me."

I stand up and storm outside to the hall.

"Lilana, I know things have been hard, but that doesn't give you an excuse to say that about people," He looks at me sternly.

I blink back tears, "Monika and Cami have been hurting both me and my sister for years. No wonder my sister died, she didn't want to be stuck in a world with terrible people like them."

"Lilana."

"Have you ever lost a family member? Particularly your sibling who's been your best friend for...forever?" I look him in the eye.

"No, but I-"

"Then you can't tell me how to act! This is traumatizing for me, I saw her dead body swinging from that rope from the ceiling, I've been having so many nightmares!"

He sighs, "I'm sorry Lilana. If these were normal circumstances, I would give you lunch detention for a week by now, but I know this is hard. I won't give you any detention but," of course there's a but, "you have to apologize to Monika and Cami, alright?"

I nod, "Fine. Deal."

I walk back inside and sit at my desk. I turn around in my desk, "I'm so sorry," I say in a sarcastic tone.

Cami giggles.

"Hey, Lilana," Jax comes over to my locker, "I'm sitting with a couple of friends at lunch today, wanna join?"

I shrug, "If it takes my mind off of everything terrible in my life, sure."

He tries to smile, "Sorry. I heard what happened in homero-"

I put a hand up, "Don't even talk about it. Monika and Cami are terrible, blah blah blah, yeah, I know," I start walking back to A104, the long way this time, so I don't have to deal with Jax.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "Alright, bye, then."

I walk into the cafeteria and go to the lunch line. Today they're serving Green Glop 2.0, and it's actually edible this time.

I try to spot Jax at a table. Finally I see him with quite a few other kids. I walk over to them and sit next to Jax.

"Hey, Lily. Uh, guys, this is Lilana, the girl I was telling you about," he looks to his friends. Jackie's there, the girl from the theater arts booth. "This is Jackie," he says.

"Yeah, I met her at the elective fair," I say.

There's a boy with blonde hair and a blue stripe down the middle, who Jax introduces as Nixon, a girl with bleach blonde hair who reaches out and shakes my hand (Jenni Rider; Jackie's sister), and Armani, a boy with black hair and glasses, who's reading a book.

I stare down at my lunch tray. Everybody's eating except for me.

"Hey, are you gonna eat that?" Nixon points at my food.

"No, I don't have much of an appetite." I tell him.

"Is it because of your sis-" he pauses once he sees Jax look at him with a death glare, "nevermind!"

I sigh and keep my head looking down.

There's an awkward silence. Finally, Armani breaks it, "So, how have y'all been liking the school year so far?"

Jenni laughs, "It's only been a week, Ar. I don't think many of us know how we feel about it yet."

He shrugs, "I guess. There just needed to be some type of conversation going here."

"Well how about this," Jackie starts, "My lil' bro punched someone yesterday."

"Wait really?" Jax gasps, "Didn't know he was capable of such a thing."

Jenni nods, "Yep. Couldn't believe it when he told me why he got detention."

"Why?" I ask.

Jenni shrugs, "Someone messing with his friend or something."

A little while later, the bell finally rings. I'm the first to get up and dump my tray.

"Hey, wait up!" Jax grabs my wrist before I leave the cafeteria.

I close my eyes and feel tears falling to the floor.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"Home," I yank my wrist from his grip.

He grabs me again, "We both know you can't do that. I'll walk you to class, alright?"

I give in and let him take me to my locker.


	5. Chapter 5

I managed to get to school early today, it's the first day of our clubs and electives, and mine is in the morning. Of course, it's theater, the only elective I chose. It's in the auditorium (obviously), which is on the top floor of the school. I walk in and take a seat in the front row.

A girl with reddish hair walks onto stage. "Okay, class! Welcome to the school's theater arts program, where we get to put on plays and musicals for the school! But, of course, not all of you have to do this. Some of y'all may want to work behind the scenes, which is totally fine, so, after I'm finished, you can go over to Jackie, the co-leader for theater and leader for baking club. By the way, my name is Alexandra, but you can call me Alex. If you want to be an actor, come see me!" she smiles and puts her hands together. "Now, let's start role call."

She goes through a couple names until she lands on a name that catches my attention. "Clay Blackburne?" I totally forget Clay was in theater.

"Present," her voice comes from behind me, and I turn around to look at her. She puts her hand up.

A couple few names later, Alex falls on mine. She clears her throat, "Liliana Fal...Fal..." She gets stuck, so I fill in.

"Actually it's Lilana Falkov. Don't worry, everyone gets that mixed up," I say with a monotone voice.

She goes through a ton more names, names I have never heard, and finally she's done talking. I stand up and walk over to Jackie.

"Hey, Lilana! You wanna do backstage?" She turns around after finishing talking to a tall girl.

I rub my neck, "Um, I guess. I mean, I kinda want to do both backstage and act in plays if that would work," I rub the back of my neck.

"That's totally fine. Just sign here," she hands me a clipboard, "and we'll figure something out!"

"Thanks," I sign my name and hand it back to her.

Jackie gasps, and turns red.

"Huh?" I look towards where she's looking at and see Clay.

Clay spots Jackie and turns red as well. She starts walking back to the door, then turns her head around.

"Jackie, are you ok? You look red," I tell her, in case she didn't know.

"Yes," she smiles and walks over to Clay, leaving me alone.

The two start talking. I don't know what's wrong with me, but do you ever see someone and you want to talk to them because they seem cool, but you're way too shy to ever talk to them? It's confusing, but that's me. I want to talk to Clay, but there's no way that I can.

I walk back to my seat as Alexandra walks back to the stage. "And we are done! We will meet twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, from 8 am to 9:30, the start of the school day. Nice meeting you all! If any of you want to come talk to me, then feel free to come find me at lunch or at my locker! Thank you for coming, and goodbye!" She walks off the stage and I head to my homeroom, right behind Clay.

We get to our class and I go to my seat.

I can't help but keep staring at her. I don't know why.

The bell rings, and I come back from my daze. Clay gets up and I try to catch her at the door.

"Um, hey!" I tap her on the shoulder. I don't know what to say, so I stare at the bow on her school uniform, "I like the way you did your bow."

"Thanks...?" She turns around.

"Wait, wait, wait! That's not what I meant to say!" But she's already off to her second period class. Why am I so terrible at social interactions?

"Hey, Jax. I'm coming to sit with you again, if you don't mind," I tell him on the way to the cafeteria.

"Oh, sure! I'm glad you're coming," he smiles.

We arrive and get our lunches. We sit down at our table and I see Jackie already there, with Clay right next to her. Clay is also sitting next to a guy, a bit older than me, with dark blue, shaggy hair.

"Oh, hi. I'm Jackson," He holds out his hand to me and Jax.

"Hi, you must be Jackie's bro. I've heard a lot about you," Jax says, "Didn't you punch someone?"

"Jax!" I push him in the arm.

"Sorry!" He pretends that I've hurt him.

"Great first impression..." Clay mumbles.

It gets kind of boring so I take out my book, Mint, and read.

Clay looks at the cover of my book and face brightens. "Mint? I love that series. In my opinion, though, the show is much better."

I look up, "You like Mint? Finally, someone I know who likes it."

She sighs, "Yeah, not many people like it, surprisingly."

We talk for a bit, but I rarely say anything, before Jackie brings something up. "Hey, did you guys hear about the winter formal coming up?" She asks us.

Jackson turns red.

"No, why?" I ask.

"Well, it's a dance, so there's gonna be music, cupcakes, dates..." She pauses, "N-not that I want a date," she blushes.

Jenni giggles, "It's going to be amazing! Oh, Clay! Can't you play the piano? There's going to be a sign up for the piano player!"

Clay blushes, "I mean, I guess, but I don't like playing in front of people..."

"So, who's everyone gonna ask?" Jackie asks.

Everyone is quiet.

"I'm not sure. But there is this girl that I...kind of like..." Armani says.

"Oh, really, Armani?" Nixon laughs.

"Spill," Jenni pushes him a bit.

"No!" Armani refuses.

"Fine. Jackson, what about you?" Jenni asks.

"Um..." Jackson looks at his plate.

"Ugh, Jax?" Jenni says irritatedly

He keeps quiet as well.

"Nixon?"

"Nope!" He says while eating Doritos.

"Fine. Anyone?"

Nobody says anything.

"I'll never get those names out of you guys."

The bell finally rings.

"Okay, see ya guys. I have Baking club to get to," Jackie walks off.

"Bye," Armani gets up and goes to his next class.

"Oh, Lily, wanna come over to my house after school? " Jax asks me before I stand up.

"Sure, I guess. Last time I went to your house it was because...well you know why," I look down.

"It'll be fun. I think Nixon and Jackie are also coming over," he says and smiles.

I stand up and walk away with one thought in my mind: Would anyone ask me to the dance?


	6. Chapter 6

I walk to Jax's house and see his two siblings running around the front yard. Julia and Juno are their names, both in third grade. I knock on the door and I hear yells from inside. Jax opens the door, laughing. "Hey, Lily, come on in."

I walk in and see Jackie on the couch. Nixon is sitting on top of the kitchen counter.

I notice Clay reading the sequel to Mint on the staircase, sucking on a lollipop, and Jackson reading over her shoulder on the step above her, with his wolf tail wrapped around her. There's a cat on top of Jackson's head, and I can't help but smile a bit.

"Jax, this is seriously a nice house," Jenni says from above us.

"Thanks," he says. "Sadly I have to share it with those two monsters outside," he laughs.

I go to the couch and check my phone.

I got a text from somebody.

The same person from the first day of school.

I stupidly click on it.

There's a blurry picture of me.

And Natalie.

Where did you get this?

I text.

Oh, just a little friend.

Why do you care? She's gone, she'll never know. :)

Who are you? What do you want from me?

I'm just a little thing wanting to make your life better.

Thing?

April. Call me April. I'm helping you, Lilana.

I put my phone down. This is not just a spammer.

This is a stalker.

Jackie gets off the couch and walks over to Clay, "Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?"

Clay looks up, "Sure."

They walk upstairs and go into a guest bedroom.

A few minutes later, we all end up talking to each other, with Jackie and Clay still upstairs. I hear a muffled yell. It only takes a few minutes for the girls to come down.

"Guys! Guys! Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?" Clay has a wide smile, and jumps down from the third step of the stairs.

"Hey, Clay. What do you need?" Jenni looks over to her.

"Someone asked me to the winter formal!"

Jack's face goes pale white.

"Really? Right now? Through text? Call? Did someone come?" Nixon gets off the counter.

"Well, Jackie and I will show you," Clay turns to Jackie and blushes.

They grab each others hands, pull one another close, and kiss.

On the lips.

In front of everyone.

Jack's eyes widen.

Everyone's jaws drop.

"I...I'm going to go...get something from the car," Jack runs out the front door and I hear the car door slam. I hear the engine running, but I don't hear him drive away.

I'm confused. I go to get him.

"Jack?" I look at him through the window. I open the car door. He looks away from me. I look down, "You like her, don't you?"

He slowly nods.

I look back at the front door to the house. I sit down in the car and close the door. He nods again, "I just have a really bad headache."

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't barge into your car. I just...nevermind." I open the door again, unsure of what to do.

"No, you can stay. I just don't want to go in there right now." Jack looks out the window down the street.

"Wanna just go for a ride or something?" I ask.

He shrugs, and I see Jax open the front door and walk over to us.

"Guys, are you ok?" He asks us.

Jackson nods.

"Yeah," I say.

"Come back, please. Of course it's gonna be awkward, they're our friends," he's mostly directing his words to Jackson.

"Jackie betrayed me..." Jackson looks down.

I frown, "I'll come back. Jackson?"

He stays quiet. Jax takes me by the wrist and we go in.

"Is Jack alright?" Jenni asks when we enter the house again.

"He's...fine." I look back out the window to see Jack slamming his head on the steering wheel. I put my head on Jax's shoulder. I feel bad for Jackson. He got his heartbroken by his sister. Jax puts his arm around me and takes me to the couch.

Clay and Jackie come through the back door. They had gone outside.

"Where's Jack?" Clay asks.

"I don't know," I lie.

There's an awkward silence. It's weird how silence can be so loud, it makes your ears start ringing. Finally, I can't take it anymore, and look at Jax, "Can you drive me home? I'm too tired to walk."

"Sure," he stands up. "I'm gonna take Lilana home, so I'll be back in five minutes," he announces. We walk outside to the road, where Jackson's car has drove off to God knows where. Wish I could go with him, it would give me a chance to know him a bit better.

We drive home and Jax walks me up to the front door.

"Hey, I had an idea. Maybe this weekend we could go get boba?" Jax tells me before I walk into the house.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind," I smile weakly.

"Um, okay," He smiles back. I turn the door knob to go into the house, but Jax stops me, "Wait, there's actually something I wanna ask you, um..." He thinks for a moment, and shakes his head, "Nevermind. I have a soccer game tomorrow if you wanna come. Tickets are five dollars or something like that. Just go to the field after school if you're coming, okay?"

"Sure. I don't think I have anything going on tomorrow," I say.

"Thanks. Bye," he walks back to his car.

I open the door and go upstairs. I pass Natalie's old room, which for some reason the door is open. I see the noose hanging on from the ceiling. I could've sworn we took it down, and locked the door, but oh well.

I'm not sure what possesses me to go into the room, but I do.

Still smells like an old corpse.

I shake my head and turn around to leave the room when something catches my attention.

A note.


	7. Chapter 7

A note. Her note. I swear, it wasn't there before. The police searched. I want to crumple it up, but I need to read it. I have to.

* * *

I didn't want it to get to this. But it did. I was thinking 'It's fine, I'll get over it', but no. It had to come to this. The only way to make me happy was to leave this horrible place you call 'life'.

You'll be fine without me. No one needed me, so why live? I'm sorry, Lilana, Mom, and even myself. I'm sorry I had to leave you. Goodbye, forever.

~ Love,

Natalie

* * *

My eyes widen. Tears stung my eyes. I check to see if Jax is still outside. He didn't drive away, I just see him face palming. I run out and open his car door.

"Lily, are you ok?" He asks.

"I found...I found a note. I found her note. The suicide note," I say, out of breath from running all the way back outside, into the cool autumn breeze.

"What? Let me read it," he looks at the note. "This is her handwriting, alright. How did we not notice this before?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking..." I look at him, "I'm sorry, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I don't want you to drive in the dark."

"No, it's okay."

"But there are people waiting at your house!"

He sighs, "Right, I forgot. Well, see you tomorrow. Goodbye...again," he smiles. I know he's forcing it. I hug him and walk back inside to my room.

I wake up in the middle of the night to my phone making a sound, meaning I got a text. I usually sleep through everything, so this is weird.

I check my phone. Apparently, someone had made a group chat, and Clay was the first one to send a message in it.

Guys, pls help. Everyone get 2 my house, now!

She sends the address, but I'm too tired to write a reply. I really should.

Guys, Im not stupid, get 2 my house NOW.

Jackie replies to her. Of course, it's Jackie. She's basically her girlfriend now.

Clay, r u ok? Jackson, Jenni and I r coming.

I don't realise it, but after I read the last text message, I immediately fall back asleep.

The school day flies by and it's lunch again. I haven't seen Clay all day. Not in homeroom, not in the hall, and she's probably not in the cafeteria.

I'm not sure what makes me do it, but I don't go to sit with my usual group. Instead I walk outside to the field and sit on the bleachers, watching the guys on the football team practice. I've never understood that sport. You're basically fighting and jumping on top of each other over a small, stupid ball, and giving each other concussions and not getting in trouble for it. I once saw someone almost jump over another dude on the opposite team, and they both fell to the ground. Seriously, I hate it.

Then I start thinking about what happened to Clay. What happened last night? I should've said something. Maybe something bad happened.

Yeah, she had a little accident.

April. Again.

What happened?

Let's just say it wasn't too COOL.

But why are you worrying? She isn't your girlfriend, now is she? :)

The day goes by, and it's the afternoon. I go to my room and see my dog lying on my bed. I lie down with him. He licks my face. Today was boring. I finished my homework in study hall, which is good, but now I have nothing to do.

I wake up and look at the clock. I must've fallen asleep. It's about 7:30. I check my phone. At least April didn't wake me up again, but she did text me.

You're thinking of some stuff, aren't you?

Look, Clay isn't dead...yet. She's not coming to school till next week, you happy?

I hate you.

My head starts hurting. Badly. Like a migraine.

Look, just stop thinking about this. You'll just end up dead. Sorry, little Lily, you'll get over it soon enough. Just follow my advice, don't kill yourself.

What? Why would I do that?

You'll see. Just don't do anything. Stay where you are, stay there. Stay in your house. Stay in your room. Stay in the little world of your mind. Don't go anywhere. :)

I fall back asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

I see Jackie walking through the halls before homeroom. I decide to go talk to her, ask her about what's going on with Clay.

"Uh, hey, Jackie!"

"Oh, hey, Lilana," she says in a dreary tone.

"Um, I wanted to ask you, what happened to Clay...?" I mumble.

She sighs, "Clay is fine. She'll be back soon," she says, sounding annoyed.

I nod, "Okay, thanks?"

The day goes by slowly. The only thing I'm looking forward to is Jax's soccer game. I doubt he's any good, but it would be rude of me to not to show up.

Finally, school ends. I make my way to the field behind the school and hand the ticket person five dollars. I walk to the bleachers and sit down.

Then the game starts. I see Jax kick the ball to another teammate, but the ball is stolen by the other team. In the end, the opposite team wins 4-2. It was a boring game.

The week is even slower. We have to skip theater because Alex is sick with the flu. It's so boring. Luckily, now it's Saturday. Time for boba with Jax.

"Mom, I'm going out," I shout from the front door where Jax is waiting for me.

"Alright, sweetie! Remember, we need some food for dinner!"

I close the door and Jax looks at me, "How's she doing?"

I shrug, "She's getting better. It's pretty hard to recover from your daughter killing herself."

He frowns and clears his throat, "Anyways, let's go get some tea," he jumps off the porch and puts his hand out for me. "Lady Lilana," he says in a fake English accent.

I smile a little and take his hand, "Mr. Jax."

We laugh a bit and walk towards his car.

We drive down to the cafe on Main Street. I order a mango boba, while Jax orders a green tea boba. I take out my wallet to pay for my drink, but Jax takes out his wallet, "Don't worry, I got it," and he pays for it.

The cashier looks at us and smiles, "Young love is beautiful, isn't it?"

I blush, "What? No, no, we're not-"

Jax freezes, "We're not-"

The cashier chuckles, "Alright, aright, I'll get your tea right out."

Jax and I laugh and walk over to a table. We start talking, then I see someone outside.

"Clay?" I say under my breath. Her mint hair down and no makeup. She walks into the cafe. It might just be me, but I could swear I see dark marks on her face.

"Lily?" Jax waves his hand in front of my face, "Earth to Lily."

I shake my head, "Sorry I was just wondering. What do you think happened to Clay?"

He shrugs, "I heard it was a fire or something."

"Oh, shit..." I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react.

Finally, our tea arrives. I pick up my boba and stir it around with the straw. Jax sips his tea and looks around the cafe. "Isn't that actually Clay right there?" He looks at the front counter.

I pretend to be surprised, "Oh, yeah. It is. Go ask her to come sit with us!"

He turns his head back to me, "What? But-" he exclaims. "I mean, I barely know her," he corrects himself.

I cross my arms, "Fine, I'll do it," I stand up and walk over to the counter.

"Wait! No-" Jax says but I'm already at the counter.

"Hey, Clay," I wave.

Clay turns around and notices me. "Oh," she says.

"Uh, how have you been?"

She slams her money on the counter, surprising the cashier, "I'm fine," she says, faking a smile.

"Um, okay? Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to come sit with us?"

She shakes her head, "I have to go somewhere."

I blink, "Um, okay, well that's fine, I'll see you on Monday then...?"

I walk back to the table, "She's leaving," I lean forward and put hands on my chin. "Failure."

"Well, at least we can still be alone..." he says.

I shrug, "I'm probably gonna leave too. I promised my mom I'd get groceries on the way back."

"Uh, wait. I've been meaning to ask you this," Jax looks down and looks down at his phone. "Are you going to the winter formal?"

I shrug, "I dunno, if someone asks me. Or my friends are going, then I guess."

He smirks, "Well you wanna go with me?"

I chuckle, "You're not serious?"

His smile vanishes, "I mean..."

My eyes widen, "Oh," I think for a moment. He's just asking me so he won't feel alone or something, right? "Uh, sure, why not, I love you."

He smiles and his eyes are bright.

"You're my best friend. I don't want you to be alone at the dance!"

He stops smiling again.

"Anyways, I gotta go," I stand up and take the rest of my tea. I walk outside to Main Street and walk down to the grocery store.

When I finish shopping, I see a new clothing shop opening up. Perfect, I needed some new winter clothing, and a dress to the winter formal. I walk into the store with my grocery slung over my arms. I see a beautiful dress - a blue knee length dress that comes with a small white mini jacket. I rush over to it and check the price.

Oh.

$70. I can't ask my mom for that, just for a dress. She spent all her money for the funeral and burial for Natalie.

I shrug. I don't care. I mean, I don't need it.

I look around the store and see the now familiar mint hair.

Clay, again.

I walk closer to her, too shy to talk to her again after being blown off by her less than 20 minutes ago.

I'm looking in the jewelry section when she notices me.

"Lilana? Again?" I look up and see Clay looking at me from across the aisle. "Are you following me?"

"What? No, I just came in to look for some clothes," I look back at the black choker I was looking at before she started talking to me.

"Whatever, can we just talk Monday?"

"Sure."

And now it's Monday. Alex is still sick, so we still skip theater. I see Clay sitting right next to my usual spot in homeroom. I sit next to her. "So...how are yo-"

"I'm fine, alright?" She snaps. I jump in surprise.

The bell rings, and the teacher walks over to her. "Ah, Clay. Nice to have you back. Are yo-" she cuts off the teacher.

'I'm fine, don't ask." The teacher raises an eyebrow.

"Clay, look at me."

"Why do I have to?" She rolls my eyes.

The teacher looks mad.

"Clayana. Look at me. Now." The teacher raises his voice.

"I almost died, and people are still treating me like shit! Like they wouldn't care if I was dead!" She screams. Everyone looks at her. The teacher looks back at her.

"The lump of Clay is gonna blow." I hear a girl whisper.

"Who asked for your input?" She screams and cracks her knuckles. The girl's eyes widen, then turn angry.

"Clayana. Outside. Now!" The teacher says sternly and follows her out.

The whole class is silent, with the occasional whisper and snicker from the girls Clay basically threatened.

"Hey, shut up," I say to them.

"'Who asked for your input?'" One of them mocks.

"I bet Clay wouldn't mind for my input," I say. I don't even think that's true.

They laugh.

"No wonder Clay threatened you. I would've hurt you myself my now," I cross my arms.

"Yeah, right," Monika says behind me.

"You really wanna do this now, Monika? I could take you down easily, I mean you're just a human. Hybrids are much stronger."

Cami tugs on my ponytail.

I smack her hand and stand up, holding my book, "You really wanna do this now?" I repeat.

"Sure, why not?" Monika smirks.

I hold my book up high, not even hesitating from hitting her with it.

She screams and throws a punch at me.

Then we're on the ground, westling. Cami tries pulling me off her, but I'm too strong. There's something burning inside of me, like a fire. There are kids filming the whole fight, then someone goes out to get the teacher. He comes inside and starts yelling at us.

"Detention for a week, both of you!" He yells.

I wipe my nose and see blood. It doesn't even hurt.

"And Kayley, take them to the nurse. Make sure they don't touch each other."

I walk outside to the bleachers and sit down with my lunch. Tons of people have seen the video of the fight, and rumors are spreading like a wildfire. I see Clay running out of the cafeteria, crying.

"Lilana!" She yells, and walks up the bleachers to me.

"Where were you? Are you-" she cuts me off.

"I'm fine, thanks. The question is, are you okay? I heard about the fight," she says, ignoring her own tears.

"I'm fine. How's Jackie? Your...girlfriend?" I ask and wipe one of her tears.

She sighs, "She's not my girlfriend, not until the winter formal."

"Do you...even want to talk about it?" I ask, talking about what happened to her.

She looks away, "Did you want to talk about it when your sister died?"

I take a sharp breath, "Don't."

"Exactly," she looks at me, pondering, "Just, look. What would you do when your pet named after your dead sister dies in a fire? Huh?"

"A fire."

She nods, slowly, "I've also been getting this weird texts telling me not to kill myself..."

I look up at her, "Really? Like the ones I showed you on the first day?" April?

Her eyes widen, "Yeah...do you think it's...no it can't possibly...do you think they're the same person?"

I swallow, "I dunno. But, you're not really gonna kill yourself, right?"

She shakes her head, "Of course not."

We sit in silence for a few moments, watching the guys practice football.

"I want to go somewhere Friday. It's stupid and dangerous, but...I want to go," Clay finally breaks the silence.

"Where?"

"Jackson's dad used to own a diner, but it shut down because of a supposed murder by...something dangerous there. They say it's haunted."

"Wait. Rider Diner?" I ask.

She nods enthusiastically, "Yeah, that's the one."

"I used to go there all the time with my sister."

She shrugs, "I also thought it was a bit cheesy, but Jackson loved it, so..."

"Well, you only live once. Let's do it," I agree.

She smiles. When she smiles like this, her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are a lilac purple, bright and sparkling.

I like her.

"So, Friday?"

"Yep."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason Alex is sick is because I forgot all about her so I needed an excuse for her to be gone

* * *

It's Friday. Alex has been sick forever, I heard it was a terrible case of the flu - so bad, she had to go to the hospital. At least I don't have to wake up early in the morning. I sit on the front porch, waiting for Jax to drive up.

Finally, I see his hand-me-down car drive up to my house.

"Ready to die?" He yells from the car.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, right. Let's just go already, okay?"

A little while later, we arrive at the old building of Rider Diner. I see Clay, Jackson, Jenni, and Jackie arrive.

"Okay, are we ready? What are we gonna do? Are we gonna die here?" Jenni asks many questions, obviously nervous.

Clay rolls her eyes, "It's not like any of us are gonna die, it's a diner."

"Or die-ner," she points out.

We all sit down on some benches while Clay tries to find a way in. I start talking to Jax about what they are building on top of the diner.

"A strip mall? Doesn't this town have enough malls?" I say, annoyed.

"For a teenage girl, I'm surprised you're not happy about that." Jax laughs.

"Oh shut up, you're like my dad."

Well, when I had a dad.

"Well, when are we gonna go in?" Jackson starts to get impatient asks.

Clay turns around and shoots him a mean look. She puts her hands on her hips, "Is everyone ready?" She yells out. We all nod.

We climb in, and I hit my head on a loose brick in the doorway. I look up at the inside of the diner. "Woah..." I say. I hear everyone else admiring it too. It's pretty dark, except for the colorful stage light that is somehow still on. Pretty creepy if you ask me.

Clay turns in a circle, looking around. "Just like my childhood," I hear her mutter.

"Okay, we're here, can we leave now?" Jenni panics and starts walking to the crumbling door.

Clay grabs her arm and shakes her head, "Look, I know you're scared of this place, but I want to see the stuff we never got to see when we were kids, and I think everyone else wants to as well. We aren't leaving."

Jax shushes us, "Be quiet, I can hear something..." He whisper shouts.

We look around. We can hear a faint scream that would repeat, stop, and start again.

Jenni stifles a scream, "Please can we leave? People have died here, you guys are such idiots! It's unsafe and illegal."

Clay looks at her, "We aren't leaving. Not yet," she steps forward and turns to us. "Let's split up. Stay close to the stage so we can all see each other, and please don't die," she tries to smile.

We nod and go in different directions, making sure to stay in sight of each other.

I turn around and go to the private party rooms. I try to turn on the light, but it won't work. It's very dusty, so I start coughing a lot.

The room turns darker.

I turn around and the door is closed.

I open it but it's still pitch black, no colorful stage, no lights.

Just darkness.

I sit up and stare at the ceiling, covered with mold and redness.

Blood.

I walk out quickly and sit on the stage.

I don't understand what's going on.

Jax comes back and sits next to me, who had gone into the party room next to the one I was in. Soon, Jackson comes as well, then Jackie, and Clay runs as fast as she can to the stage.

"Guys, guys..." She starts, out of breath, "There was...something..." she coughs.

"Where's Jenni?" Jackie stands up.

I hear something.

A scream.

It gets louder.

I can hear it getting closer.

And closer.

We hear another scream, but it cuts off. No echo. Nothing.

Clay takes a deep breath and breaks the silence between us all, "Okay, we can't split up anymore. Lilana and I will go together, Jackie and Jackson can go together, and Jax, stay here and text us if something happens."

We nod and Clay takes my wrist, "Let's go," she says.

We walk backstage and walk past the kitchen, smelling of old, rotten, moldy food.

We walk into a room full of robotic parts, used for the animatronics that the diner is known for. Spare arms, legs, tools, paint, a lot of metal, and blueprints.

"What's this?" I look up at an animatronic, it's head torn off.

"That's...I have no idea..." She pushes past me and looks up at it. She touches it's arm, but some springs snap and gives her a giant cut on her hand. She lets out a cute, tiny little scream, trying not to sound like she is in a lot of pain.

I shake my head and open another door. "Hey, Clay? There is a weird robot thing in here, can you look at it?"

She walks into the room I opened and looks at the rundown robot. It looks pretty creepy compared to all the other animatronics.

Then it turns on.

I wake up. I guess we must've gotten knocked out. We're out of the diner, and I'm not planning on going in there again.

"Oh, thank God you're okay!" Jax helps me stand up. I don't remember anything in the diner, only that I hate that place and the robots' guts, that is, if they have any. They deffinitly don't have hearts, that's for sure. Clay woke up before me, who had came with me and got knocked out as well. The last thing I remember is Clay screaming bloody murder, and then darkness. Nothing else.

"Okay, let's just make it clear that we are never coming here again, right?" I look at everyone.

They all nod.

"Let's just go," Jackson says.

  * "Let's," Clay says.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is a FNAF rip off  
> I wrote this when FNAF was still really popular lmao


	10. Chapter 10

It's been about a week after the Rider Die-ner incident (that's what we all call it). Jenni was still nowhere to be found. Her parents know she's gone, but don't know how. Jackson tells them she just went missing. They've sent out missing flyers and even contacted the police, but we know there's nothing they can do. She's gone. Alex is finally back after being sick for a long while, so we'll be having meetings regularly from now on.

I walk outside to the bleachers again, this time we have all agreed to sit outside and eat lunch together. There are some football players out of the field. I eat my chips and see everyone that used to sit with us come over and take a seat with me, except for Jackson.

"Where's Jack?" Jackie says and sits next to Clay.

"I saw him getting beat up. I think by Barren. I hate that kid," Nixon says.

I don't know who this Barren is, but I'm guessing he's terrible. "Doesn't Jackson get in a fight like, every week nowadays?" I add.

Everyone nods.

"He doesn't know when to stop talking shit," Clay says while Jack sits down.

Busted.

He says something under his breath and holds an ice pack under his chin. It must've been bad. I see a bit of blood on the ice pack.

There's an awkward silence between everyone when Jackie gets a text and walks away. The loud speaker announces something about everyone in theater to go to the auditorium for something. I look at Clay and shrug.

We walk over to the auditorium and see Jackie onstage with Alex.

"Okay, guys. Please welcome Alexandra back, she has had a bad case of the flu. Luckily, she's back right on time. Today we will start voting on which play we will be performing in the winter. There will be a box in the back, and all you have to do is just write which play you want and put it in the box. Easy peasy!

"Now, for the plays. We have four choices - Romeo and Juliet, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Macbeth, or Hamlet! All Shakespeare originals, of course. Go on and vote now! We will announce who the winner is on Wednesday!" Jackie says.

I kind of want to do Romeo and Juliet, although it is pretty cliche. I just love a good love story.

"So, we will have a box at the door for you to vote, and we will tell you what play it will be on Wednesday!" Jackie tells us all.

"Wednesday isn't a theater club day!" A girl in the back yells out.

"Right, I want you guys to come all this week, if that's okay. Sorry to bend your morning around, but we gotta fit this in. Alright, see you all tomorrow!"

I groan. Great, now I have to get up early. I hope Jax doesn't mind. Everyone starts walking out of the club room. I pass Clay and Jackie talking, but I decide not to be nosey about it. For all I know, they could be talking about which candy they like. The late bell rings.

Well, at least I have a valid excuse for being late to science. I make my way to class while Clay rushes by, even though she is in my class. I open the door.

"Take a seat," Mr. Aleral, my science teacher, tells me. I guess Clay already told him about theater.

I take desk in the middle. I feel something hit my head. "Hm?" I turn around. I see Clay, who sits in the back, pointing at my seat. I look down and pick up a folded piece of paper. I open it; inside was a note from her.

What play did you vote for in theater? Are you excited for the play?

I take a pen and write back, trying to make it look like I'm writing a note for class.

Romeo and Juliet. I want to try out for a part, but I'm really shy doing that in front of people. I think Romeo and Juliet will be fun!

I toss the note back to Clay's desk, hoping Mr. Aleral doesn't see.

She writes something and slides it on the floor. I pick it up.

Maybe. I really wanna do Macbeth, but Romeo and Juliet will also be fun. Every time I do a play, I always want the lead part, so I'm hoping to get one of them!

I look back at Clay and smile.

I wake up to my phone buzzing. It's from April. Again.

You up? Just kidding, I know you are. Today they announce the play. Don't text back, just think.

What does she mean? Wait - weren't they going to announce the play tomorrow?

Change of plans, according to Jackie. I just want to tell you this. Clay is staying at the J-house for now, as you know. She went to a firework show with a certain someone. Don't worry though, everything is fine. Just talk to Clay. :)

I close my eyes. I guess I have to get ready. She is leaving me to figure stuff out myself, I guess.

I get out of bed and get dressed. I text Jax that I'm getting to school early everyday this week for theater. I feed Ace a bit of leftover bacon and run out the door.

I make it just in time as the early bell rings. I make my way to the auditorium, and I see Alex finish counting the votes for the play.

"We need to do role call so we make sure everyone is here, and to make sure everyone knows what play we are doing," Alex says.

I take a seat next to Clay and start talking to her.

"Macbeth, huh?" I smile.

"Yeah. One of my favorite plays," she laughs and blushes.

Jackie starts role call, while everyone else is dying to know what play won.

"Okay, seems like everyone is here, Alex do you have the votes?"

"Yup, can I get a drumroll please?" Alex smiles as she takes out four pieces of paper.

We all laugh make drumming noises on our laps and chairs.

"Hamlet with a total vote of...58!"

A few people cheer, though they know they won't win.

"Macbeth with a total vote of...95!"

Clay cheers with quite a lot of other students. They let people vote even if they weren't in theater club so we can let the school decide the play we will put on as well.

"Midsummer Night's Dream with a total vote of...102!" Alex smiles mischievously, "And finally, the moment we've all been waiting for...Romeo and Juliet - 112!"

I clap and smile.

"Romeo and Juliet wins! So if you want to try out for the parts, come in during any free period, before school, or after school," Jackie announces. "If any of you want, you can stay here and try out for a part; if you do, we will give you a late pass to homeroom," Jackie and Alex go backstage.

Clay looks at me. I shrug and I get up, "I'm going to embarrass myself, but wish me luck."

Alex comes back on stage while Jackie takes the microphone, "We aren't gonna be sexist, so a girl can try for Romeo and a boy can try for Juliet."

It's finally my turn. I walk up on stage, blushing a bit, "Hi," I say, shaking. I look at Jackie and Alex, sitting at a desk in front of the stage.

"What role do you want to try for?" Jackie asks me.

"Juliet," I say quietly.

"Go Lilana!" Clay yells from below the stage.

My face heats up, but I still smile.

"Do you mind if Romeo is a girl?" Jackie raises an eyebrow.

"Not at all."

"Do you mind kissing Romeo?"

I blush, "I...I mean, I guess..." I stutter. This is going to be horrible.

She nods and writes a note down, "Okay, here are some lines for you to say," she hands me a piece of paper.

I read it over before beginning, "How now, who calls?

Madam, I am here.

What is your will?

And stint thou too, I pray thee, Nurse, say I.

It is an honor that I dream not of.

I'll look to like if looking liking move.

But no more deep will I endart mine eye

Than your consent gives strength to make it fly."

Jackie stands up and smiles, "Alright, not too shabby. I'll get back to you if you do get the part."

I smile and walk off stage. I grab a late pass for me and Clay, then we run for homeroom.

Clay opens the door for me.

"Thanks..." I say shyly.

I look at the class and see Shay and Jami, the Clay equivalent to Monika and Cami.

I suddenly get pushed to the ground and get swallowed up by Clay's hair. She yelps and I try to push myself up from the ground. I fall again, this time right in front of Clay's face.

I hear a cackling laugh behind me. I push off the ground again and look up.

"Ew, what lesbians. Leave it for after school, alright?" Shay and Cami laugh.

I feel my face growing hot and my eyes starting to burn. Clay stands up, her hair messy from me falling on her, and pushes Shay and Cami together so they fall on the floor, so close they are almost kissing.

"For the record, there isn't anything wrong with lesbians, but you really should leave it for after school." Clay mocks them and rolls her eyes. I bite my lip, but it doesn't help. Clay and I burst into laughter.

"You guys are jerks!" Cami's face is red as a tomato with embarrassment and fury.

"You too, sweetheart!" I fake smile at her and follow Clay.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaa I remember writing this,,

I walk out to the bleachers and soon everyone else follows. Alex is hosting auditions during lunch, so Jackie also joins us. Once Clay finishes eating, she makes us go watch her try out for a part in Romeo and Juliet.

She introduces herself in the auditorium and answers the same questions they asked me. They give her a few lines to recite for Romeo, like I did with Juliet.

"Your plantain leaf is excellent for that.

For your broken shin.

Not mad, but bound more than a madman is,

Shut up in prison, kept without my food,

Whipped and tormented and—Good e'en, good fellow.

Ay, mine own fortune in my misery.

Ay, if I know the letters and the language.

Whither? To supper?" She finishes and bows.

"You were amazing, Clay!" I say as she comes down to the audience.

"Really?" She looks at me.

"Of course."

"Thanks."

I smile. "Ready to go to science?"

She shrugs, "Sure."

* * *

It might be a stupid idea, but here's what I came up with.

Jackson and Jackie's parents are loaded, and they certainly won't mind if they use some of that money. They won't pay for all of it, but most of it. We will all pitch in.

To buy a house for Clay.

It's stupid. Very, very stupid. It probably won't work, but I really want to do this before Christmas. Try to, at least. Clay is homeless. Her house burnt down in the fire. She's staying with a few friends, but that won't last for long.

Operation: Get Clay A House.

I text my pitch to a group chat including everyone except Clay (obviously).

I hear someone knocking on my door. I assume it's just some salesperson or Jax. I disregard it.

They knock again. Maybe it is Jax, so I go to open the door. Instead, I see Clay.

"Hey, Clay! What are you-" she's crying. "Clay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Do you mind if I stay here for a little while?" She avoids eye contact.

"Well, I wouldn't mind. I'll ask my mom," I open the door for her and runs in, wet from rain outside.

I walk over to the kitchen where my mom is cooking some food. "Hey, so my friend...uh, she needs to crash at our house for a little bit. Is that...okay?"

She looks at me, dark circles under her red eyes. She smiles and takes a sip from a brown drink she holds in her hands, "Sure, honey."

I walk back to the living room and see Clay curled up into a ball. I'm surprised my mom said yes that quickly. She didn't even ask why. "Um, good news, Clay. You can stay. We have a guest room upstairs, if you wanna put your stuff in there."

She nods, "Hey, I need to go back to the J-house real quick to get some stuff."

I shiver as she says J-house. That's what April said.

I nod and take her backpack, "Sure, that's fine."

She stands up and walks to the front door.

* * *

She knocks again. I open the door and see Clay standing with another bag in her hands. "My mom made dinner if you're hungry," I let her in.

"I'm fine," she goes to the couch again.

I walk over to her, "Hey, weren't you staying at Jackie's house? Why are you here?"

She looks up at me and I notice huge tears falling down her cheeks. "Jackson hates me."

"What? How could someone hate you? He's your best friend!"

"We got in a fight. He was yelling at Jackie for asking me out, when she knew he liked me. I got mad at him, and told him to shut up," she pauses, "he told me to get the fuck out of his house." She starts crying even more, "And as Shay would say, the lump of Clay blew up. I yelled at him, calling him stupid."

I sit down on the couch with her. Her phone vibrates from her pocket, and she looks at it.

She has a blank face.

"Clay? Clay are you okay? Clay...?" I whisper.

I touch her shoulder, but she elbows my arm, "Don't touch me."

"Clay?"

She closes her eyes.

And falls to the ground.

"Clay!"

I rush to the kitchen to my mom, and see her passed out on a chair, leaving the stove on. "Mom! Mom, wake up!"

I run back to the living room to check on Clay. I wipe my eyes, wet with tears.

I scream, wanting my mom to wake up, wanting Clay to wake up. "What did you do to her?" I yell.

My head spins and pure agony washes over me.

I merely talked to her, that's all.

"No, you didn't! You did something to her! I know it! You did something to both of them!"

I didn't do anything to your mother. She did that herself.

I shake my head. She wouldn't, would she?

That drink she had...

No. No way.

I run back to my mom and look at her. She mumbles to herself, her face red.

I step back and fall to the ground.

I look up and Clay stands over me.

"Clay!" I yell.

"Lilana? Lilana, are you real?" She stares at me.

I blink. What?

"She said you're not. She said you're fake."

I shake my head, "Clay, Clay call 911. Calm down, call 911," I repeat and stand up and look back at my mom.

"She told me you're a fake, that this is just a game to you, that you don't care about me, you don't love me, you wouldn't care if I died, nobody would!"

"Clay, calm down. Give me your phone, please!" I shake her by the shoulders, trying to snap her back into reality.

She mumbles something and hands me her phone.

"Thank you."

I quickly dial 911, for the second time this year.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aa I hate this Because I just switch from a serious topic to “OOO ROMANCE” so quickly I have horrible writing iM SORRY

My mom was charged for possession of illegal drugs.

She nearly drank herself to death.

She had a BAC of 0.398%.

And I was oblivious to all of it.

Now I'm all alone, besides Clay. Mom is in prison for five years. I can't believe her.

She was getting high on cocaine, meth, and alcohol. That drink in her hand was hard alcohol.

Now I lie in my bed, crying myself to sleep.

I can't go to school tomorrow - neither can Clay. We'll be emailed the roles for Romeo and Juliet.

Clay and I agreed to not talk about any of it.

Never again.

* * *

On Halloween, nothing happened. I was too depressed, too lazy, too scared of what might happen if I let my guard down. I wasn't in the mood. Clay didn't bother me. I sat in bed all day watching videos online, and when the sun had set and all the children came to our doorstep for candy, they stayed until they realised nobody would come to the door to give them sweets and moved on to the next house. They can move on so quickly, I'm surprised. They were sad for a second, then hyped up to get to the next house. Sugar is their drug.

* * *

I wake up to someone slamming open my door.

"What was that?" Clay screams.

I snap my eyes open and sit up, "What was what?"

"That? In that other bedroom?"

I pause. She saw the noose. The one Natalie hung herself with.

I don't know why we haven't taken it down, I guess we didn't want to bother anything in the room. Wanted to keep it the exact way it was, the way Natalie would've wanted it.

I look at Clay, "I don't want to talk about it."

She looked at me with fury in her eyes, "You...you didn't actually..."

"No!" I started, wanting to explain everything, but was too overwhelmed with different emotions to.

I swallow hard, "Look, I have to go to the store. Get groceries. Now that I don't...have a mom...I have to do everything for myself. Responsibility, and all that shit."

I push past her to my closet.

"Lilana?"

I turn around and glare at her, "What?"

She looks surprised and steps towards me, "Are...you okay?"

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, I just love it when my mom is arrested for abusing drugs and now someone is questioning me about my dead sister!" I snap.

She looks down, unsure of what to say, and just mumbles "Sorry."

* * *

When I walk into the store, the cold air sends a shiver down my spine. I take a grocery cart and roll it down the aisles. I don't need any groceries, just to get out of the house. I pass the liquor aisle and I look at it. My mother. My own mother must of came here so often. Buying so much.

No tears. I can't cry in the middle of a grocery store.

I suddenly have a feeling inside of me. A feeling I can't explain. A craving. Not for liquor. For nothing. A craving for nothingness. For no pain or grief. For no sadness.

* * *

I came home with nothing but a bottle of water. I go to the kitchen and rummage through drawers and cupboards, not looking for anything. I just need to move.

"Lilana?" I hear Clay say from the couch.

I quickly stand up and close a cupboard door. "Yeah?"

"The roles were sent out via email."

I look up into the living room. I had completely forgotten about that.

"Come on, I haven't read them yet."

I quickly sit down on the couch with Clay. She unlocks her smartphone and opens the email.

Students of Jensen High School,

As you may know, our theater arts program will be putting on Romeo and Juliet for the winter formal. Today, they have announced the roles and actors that will be in the play. Here is the list:

Romeo - Clay Blackburne

Juliet - Lilana Falkov

Friar Laurence - Noah Davis

Tybalt - Will Shaw

Mercutio - Mia Aceves

Capulet - Johnny Woode

Benvolio - Jacob Thomas

Count Paris - Laurence Philips

Nurse - Paula Shaw

Rosaline - Ariana Groff

Prince Escalus - Jasmine Jones

Lady Capulet - Amelia Hamilton

Montague - Noah Smith

Lady Montague - Paris Brown

Friar John - Alexander Guthrie

Potpan - Angel Rite

Anthony - James Conroy

Page - Christine Hansen

First Musician - Mariah Goldsberry

Second Musician - Thomas Reynolds

First Guard - Cecilia Ford

Second Guard - Phyllis Beaton

Third Guard - Shay Manilla

Congratulations to all of the actors and actresses. Rehearsals start next week afterschool. A separate email has gone out for students participating in backstage, who will start working on the set next week before school.

If you have any questions, please contact the student leaders of the theater art program, Alexandra Nite and Jackie Rider.

Principal George D. Miller

I read my name over and over. I got a lead part.

Clay also got a lead part.

I have to kiss Clay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those names mean nothing they’re just random things


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like romance right after your mom gets arrested,,omfg

Clay looks at me with a huge smile on her face. "I'm Romeo!" she squeals.

"And I'm Juliet." I am happy, but...obviously, lately I haven't been the most...enthusiastic.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" I guess she hasn't realised what I've realised yet. She smirks, "Let's celebrate!"

"With what?"

"I dunno, soda? Donuts?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I'm kinda tired."

She sighs, "Alright."

* * *

The week went by, with everyone talking about the play. How is it already so popular? It was only announced last week.

We start practice today. It has been kind of awkward with me, Jackie and Jackson. They know Clay is staying at my house, and rumor has it I fell on top of Clay trying to kiss her. They know I didn't mean to fall, but still...

It's finally after school, and I go to the auditorium. I sit down, and I see Clay come in and sit next to me.

Jackie glares at me. I feel a shiver run down my spine.

Jackie's here, but Alexandra isn't. Is she sick again?

"Right...hello everyone. I'm glad you all could make it to our first practice session for the play Romeo and Juliet," Jackie says on the microphone, "Alexandra won't be here for the next few weeks because she...went on vacation."

Jackie starts role call. "Alright, time to start practice. Romeo and-" she looks at me, "Juliet," she says in a bad tone of voice, "come up on stage."

She is jealous.

We do some practice, and we get some of the lines we have to do. The late bell rings, and Clay and I jump off the stage and race each other home.

* * *

It's morning, so I get ready and head to school with Clay. I guess Jax isn't walking with me anymore, because whenever I see him going to school, he heads to the other side of the road.

We walk into homeroom and Monika points to Clay, "Look, it's Lilana and her Romeo!" she laughs.

"How about you kiss her, Romeo?" Cami says.

I get pushed again, but Jackson pushes Clay out of the way. I fall into Jackson's chest and push him away.

"Sorry," I say to him, rubbing my head, which had bumped into his chin pretty hard.

"It's fine. Those are some idiots."

I look up to see Clay pushing Jami and Shay right in the chest, hard.

"Lesbian perv," Shay mutters and puts her hands in front of her breasts.

"Clayana, Shay, outside," our teacher opens the door but doesn't go out. Instead, he turns to me, "What happened?" he asks.

"Um, well, we are practicing a play in theater - Romeo and Juliet - and then..." I feel bad ratting those girls out, but they deserve it. "Monika started it. Then Cami said for Clay and I to kiss, Jami pushed me, and then that's why Clay pushed them. I know Clay's sorry. She just does stuff without thinking, I guess," I rush.

He nods and goes back outside, bringing Monika, Jami, and Cami. They finally come back. She goes to her seat and puts her head on her desk.

"I mean, your welcome, I guess," I say quietly.

"Yeah," she looks away.

"It's okay. If I had the guts to, I would beat them up."

The bell rings and Clay walks out without looking at anyone.

* * *

We go to lunch and I sit next to her on the bleachers. Everyone else is still getting to the cafeteria and getting their lunches, so we have a little while before they come. "You okay...?"

"Sure..." she takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

The others come out and Clay quickly gets up and walks down the bleachers.

She trips and falls all the way down to the bottom of the bleachers.

"Clay!" I yell and jump up, not caring that I spilt milk all over me. I run down the bleachers and look at her. "She passed out!"

"Lilana, take her to the nurse," Jackson walks towards us.

I pick her limp body up.

I walk her to the nurses office.

"What happened this time?" she sighs and looks at Clay as I lie her down on a cot.

"Fell down the bleachers," I say, out of breath.

"Alright," she walks over to Clay. "She may have a minor concussion," she looks down at her foot, "and quite a twisted ankle. Boy, is that ugly to look at. She won't be able to walk a lot, so if I could call her parents-"

"Actually," I interrupt, "she's staying at my house. Her parents...they're out of town. I could take her home."

The nurse looks at me skeptically, "What about your parents?"

I take a deep breath, "Just...let me take her home."

She presses her fingers to her head, "Alright then. I'll give you a wheelchair for her, there's no way you can carry her out there. Here, I'll write you both a note for you to go home early. I'll give you a pair of crutches, too, so she can walk around."

"Thank you," I say and take the noteand crutches.

The nurse helps me take Clay to the school entrance on a wheelchair. I'll take the wheelchair back tomorrow, and then Clay can use the crutches for a while.

We get home and I lie Clay down on her bed. I sit down on her bedside for a moment, hoping she'll wake up. I fall back on the bed and close my eyes.

* * *

It's Thanksgiving break. A cold one. So cold, that when I look out of the window, I see small white flakes falling to the ground. Clay's foot is slowly healing, but she still needs the crutches. I turn on the TV, and as I go through the channels, I end up on the news.

"The snow will travel North, and eventually hit here in Jensen. We already have a few flakes, and we may get up to 3 inches soon if we pray." The weather reporter says.

I start watching some other shows, and I hear Clay yell "Snow!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m realizing how bad this story is now ew

I go upstairs and look at Clay. She's at the bedroom window jumping up and down like a five year old. She turns around and shows me the biggest and brightest smile I've ever seen. "We need to go outside right now!"

I smirk and grab her crutches, "You need some help with that?"

She grabs the crutches from me and walks out to the staircase. We've got a system, she just slides down on her bottom.

Hey guys, remember that stupid idea of getting clay a house for Christmas? Well, i think we should actually do it. Please, please, please can we do it? We'll all have to pitch in of course, but Ill buy you guys pizza?

Ur trying to bribe us. But I mean, we could try.

I guess. But I think I should be the one in charge if I'm taking her to the winter formal.

Jackie, don't be so rude!

I roll my eyes and walk down with Clay. I follow her out the back door and bring Ace with us. Ace absolutely loves the white snow and jumps around in it. It's only been 10 minutes, and it's already piled high on the ground.

I bend down and gather as much snow as I can in my hands. I look over my shoulder and throw the snowball at Clay. I burst out laughing. I fall down to the ground and feel the cold snow piled around me. "I wish this never leaves," I say and close my eyes.

"I hope I never leave your house!" she laughs.

I laugh too, because I will miss her when she gets a new house. We've grown so close.

"Just a few more weeks until Christmas break, but for now, we still have Thanksgiving!" Clay smiles.

"Clay! Lilana! Can you believe it's snowing?!" I hear Nixon and Jax yell through the fence. They climb over it and Nixon goes to hug Clay.

"Dude, are you ok? I heard you sprained your ankle," Nixon looks down at her. "I never realized how small you were."

"I never realized how rude you were to short people." She pushes him. He shoves her back.

"Why are you guys here?" I say. "Not that I don't want you here. Just surprised."

Jax shrugs, "I know you always loved snow, so I thought I'd give you a little surprise. Plus, Nixon and I were hanging out and started to feel lonely."

There's a knock on my fence gate. I open it and see Jackie and Jackson. Jackson is holding a present.

"What's that?" I walk over to him.

"Money for Clay. Don't tell her. I got your texts, and I like the idea of us all pitching in. Plus, Jenni is 18, so she can legally buy a house."

Clay comes over. "What's that?" She points to the present.

"Nothing," he hides it behind his back. Clay rolls her eyes and walks away.

"How about we all go inside? It's getting a bit cold," I say.

Everyone nods. We all walk inside, throwing snowballs at each other.

* * *

A few hours later, I fall asleep on Clay's shoulder. I have a dream about someone kissing me, but I can't see who it is. I wake up and see Clay's closed eyes and her face next to mine. I feel my lips touching hers.

"What are you doing?" I turn red, not knowing what to think. Am I happy? Am I mad?

"Uh..." She pauses and pushes me away.

I'm frozen in shock. Nuh uh. That didn't happen. My first kiss happened while I was sleeping. I don't know what to do, so I just run upstairs. I'm guessing everyone left, because Clay would never have done that in front of Jackie.

Ace follows me up to my room, and I lock my bedroom door.

What the hell?

I pace around my room, and I look in the mirror. I suddenly punch it with all the force I have, making it shatter into pieces. I look down at my knuckle and see blood spilling down the side. "What the fuck? I didn't..." I turn around. I could swear I can see...something. A shadow.

But not my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao gay


	15. Chapter 15

You're welcome.

* * *

I open my eyes again. What? Well, now I have to clean that up. I'll do it in the morning. I'm really tired.

I toss and turn in my bed. I can't go to sleep. 

My phone vibrates.

You'll love what's in store for tomorrow!

April, you've got to be kidding me.

* * *

I finally get to sleep, but I have a weird dream. I don't even remember it.

I wake up to my phone buzzing.

"Shut up..." I say and get dressed. I look out the window. There's still snow. I walk downstairs.

"Couldn't sleep?" Clay asks me.

I guess she could tell by my eyes being half closed and bags under them. I nod slowly and sit down at the table.

"Wanna eat? I made pancakes - peanut butter batter."

I nod. She hands me a plate with 3 pancakes. I'm so hungry, I eat all of them. They're really good until...

I run to the bathroom.

* * *

I walk out. "You put something in there I didn't like..." I say under my breath.

"What happened?" Clay asks me.

"I...got sick..." I run upstairs.

I hear the doorbell ring, and Clay answers it.

I hear Jax's voice, and Clay saying something to him. Then, he leaves.

Did ya like it?

You did that, didn't you?

Do what?

Make me sick.

No. I really didn't. It was all Clay, she's the one who made breakfast. Blame her. I only talked to her. I didn't do anything to it, technically.

What do you mean 'technically'?

Nevermind. :)

* * *

My stomach suddenly feels a lot better. I take a little nap, and when I wake up, I go downstairs. I see Clay reading a book.

"Hey, Clay, can you check if I have a fever? I feel fine, but still."

She puts a hand on my forehead and says I feel fine.

"I'm gonna go for a few hours with everyone. You may want to stay here, we are gonna be doing a lot of walking, and I don't wanna put pressure on you," I say.

"Cool," she goes back to reading.

"Um, what was that?"

She looks up, "What was what?"

I'm going to start talking about...the kiss, but I decide not to. "Jax was at the door earlier. Why was he here?"

She sighs, "It was nothing. Now, go on. I think they're waiting for you," she points outside, where Jackson's car is parked outside of the house.

"Alright, well, I'll see you later," I walk to the front door and go outside to the car.

"Hey Lily. You feeling better? Clay said you got sick," Jax rolls down his window.

"Yeah. It was just something I ate, but I feel fine now. Let's go," I say, eager to go. Today we're looking for houses for Clay.

I sit in the middle seat, in between Jax and Jackie.

"Hey, so, I wanted to ask you something," Jax finally says after a while.

"What?" I ask.

"Um..." he sighs, "This is probably not the best time to do this but..."

"Oh, look, we're here," Jackie says and looks out the window. I look too, and see the area of the neighborhood we planned on going to for Clay. Armani is standing next to a small park, talking to someone on the phone. I get out of the car, and Jackie stares at me.

"I really should've been the leader for this Christmas gift, y'know," she lowers her voice.

"I'm the one who got the idea for it," I roll my eyes.

"Still. You aren't her girlfriend, are you?"

I raise my eyebrows, "A good girlfriend would actually be a part of this, whether she's the leader or not. Has jealousy got the best of you?"

She stands there in shock. "You aren't cut out for this. I'm the one with a family who has money. You don't even have a family."

We both know she's gone too far.

"Ladies, please?" Jackson gets in the middle of us.

"Hmph." She mumbles something and starts talking to Armani.

I sit down on a bench in front of the park and pull out my phone. I'm surprised to not find any texts from April this time around.

"Okay. You ready to go?" Jackie says and looks around.

"But where's Nixon?" I ask.

"He said he won't be coming. I dunno," she says and ties her long hair in her usual ponytail.

"So, we need to find a house she'll like. Maybe two floors and a big backyard?" I stand up.

"Sure. But I know her more than you, so I know she'll also want a lot of trees," Jackie closes her eyes.

"Yeah. Whatever you say, Miss Know-It-All," I say under my breath.

We walk around the street and find a big house, surrounded by trees, and has a big balcony on the second floor.

Jackie looks up at it, "Wow, this one is nice. Maybe this one? I mean, we could probably pay for it," she crosses her arms and smirks.

I chuckle. Way to be a snobby rich kid. I don't understand why Clay said yes to going to the winter formal with her. "Let's check it out," I look at the FOR SALE sign and walk up to the door.

I ring the doorbell and see a little girl with her grandma open the door.

Jackie pushes me out of the way and starts talking to the grandmother. "Hi, nice to meet you. We were just wanting to look at this house for my girlfriend! Her's burnt down in a fire, and we want to surprise her with a new one for Christmas!" she shakes the elderly woman's hand.

"Sheesh..." I say and look at everybody else. They're all rolling their eyes at her as well.

"Oh, of course. In fact, nobody is coming to see the house any time soon, so you can have a tour right now, if you have the time!" The woman smiles.

"So, why are you moving out, if you don't mind me asking? This place is amazing," I ask as we enter the master bedroom.

"We can't afford it anymore," the woman says.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I would ask if they have another house, or at least an apartment they could move into, but I don't want to be rude.

"What a huge house this is. How much does it cost?" Armani asks.

"Around $400K. Do you think you could buy it?"

"Well, if Jackie's 'rich' then I bet we could," I mumble and cross my arms.

Jax puts his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure we can save up for it. It may be expensive, but I mean, there's 6 of us, including Nixon, so combined, we can probably do it."

"I hope you can," she says and hugs her little granddaughter.

"Thank you for showing us this! It really is a lovely house, and I think it's on our list of houses we could get," Jackie walks down to the sidewalk, and we head back home.

I text Clay that we'll be back soon.

* * *

I walk into the house and see Clay standing right in front of me, with a huge, creepy smile.

"Hi, Lilana!" She greets me and tilts her head. "Wow, you look so cool in person!" She walks around me, "I bet you'd be a great vessel..." she pauses, "oops! Silly me, I should introduce myself! It's April! You know, your best friend?" She smirks, "Is this what it feels like to be human? To feel emotion? To feel sad, or mad, or happy? I'm breaking the way this all goes, the way this story line goes, this timeline goes, the way all this goes! So, why do I bother to mess this up? I told you I wanted to help you, but, nah! I don't care anymore! I want to break this! To see the world shatter, just like that mirror you broke! The world is just glass, everything you see is the reflection! You could easily just break it all off, just like your sister! I want to see how far I can bend it, how far it can go before it snaps! How far can I bend you? How far can I bend this small girl's mind before it breaks?" She laughs, "I can't wait to try this out!"

I step back. Nobody's there to catch me when I fall.


	16. Chapter 16

April is the controller, I'm the game. She's controlling my every move, everything in my life, she's watching it all, yet doing nothing about it. She's the type of person who loves to see people suffer.

I want to be a normal teenage girl. One with a group of friends, a mom, a dad, a sister. I pray to God, even though I don't even know if He can hear me or if He's even there. I just want a normal life.

Is that too much to ask for?


	17. Chapter 17

I wake up with a migraine on the couch. I guess this is what it feels to be hungover. April is the drug, and I'm the unlucky victim.

* * *

It's time to go back to school. Clay and I have been quiet, not sure what to do. The last time we talked to each other was different. Too different. 

I pushed her away and yelled, "Get out of her, April!" I flat out broke down.

"April, stop it!" Clay suddenly yelled. I couldn't see her with my blurry vision due to the tears, but I knew she didn't know what was happening. She kneeled down to me and we sat just there. I put my head in her lap and cried. She held me tight and we sobbed together, until we fell asleep on the hardwood floor.

This morning was when she finally talked to me again.

"Lily," she said, "can you help me?"

I went to her room and helped her with her crutches.

"No, not that. I'm fine, look," she stood up without any hassle.

I was surprised, "Oh, great. That's good," I said and looked at her foot.

"What I need help with is this," she leaned into me and put her arms around my neck.

I didn't know what to do.

"This is different. I don't like it, and I need help. How do I get rid of her? She's been haunting my mind, inside my brain. I can't get rid of her," she looked into my eyes, "but you also have been with her, right? You make me feel better, she only comes when she knows I'm...that you're...that we're sad or mad...maybe she won't bother us if we're happy..." she went on her tip toes so we were face to face. "I want you to be with me. Always. You make me better and I-" she closed her eyes, "I'm sorry. April has made me a different person, she's made me become desperate for fun, for happiness...for love. That's why I need you, you give me all of those things."

"This...this isn't right, Clay. You aren't yourself anymore," I felt it, I felt something different, she wasn't the Clay I know.

She teared up, "It's because I'm not. She's making me do this, she's making me do everything. She told me if I was like this, that you'd help me," tears ran down her face and suddenly her face became stern instead of the helpless look she had just a moment ago. "I need to get rid of her."

And now I'm here, sitting on the bleachers alone, waiting for Clay to come sit with me. We had rehearsals this morning, but we barely talked. Jackie was taking her away from me.

So I'm waiting. Waiting for her to come to me so I can help her.

And then I see her walk out of the cafeteria, holding Jackie's hand. Jackie pulls her around to the other side of the football field. I fight the urge to get up and run to Clay, but I can't. I jump up from my seat and run over to her.

"Clay!" I yell. She sees me and tugs her hand from Jackie's. She walks over to me.

"Lily?"

"Clay, we really need to talk. Look, I know that wasn't you this morning, and-" I begin, but I'm cut off.

"Clay, what are you doing? I need to talk to you!" Jackie comes to us and interlaces her fingers with Clay's.

"Look, I want to help you, I will help you, just talk to me like you always-"

"Clay, come on!" Jackie interrupts again.

Jackie and I both start talking at the same time, until Clay has had enough. "Stop it! Jackie, you stop trying to keep me away from Lilana like you own me! Lilana, I understand what you're saying and I'm sorry, but can I just be alone for one second?" She shouts.

Jackie and I glare at each other. My eyes burn and I look away. I walk to the other side of the bleachers, where Jackie and Clay were originally headed.

* * *

A whole month of nothingness. A whole month of waiting for someone to talk to me so I won't make the mistake of talking. A whole month of quiet.

I've been getting texts from April, but I've ignored them. I've been getting migraines, but I don't care. The pain is what keeps me going.

Clay and I say a few words, but overall, we don't really talk. It isn't until today, December 19, "Jackie told me we have a last minute rehearsal tomorrow. A dress rehearsal. Y'know, for the winter formal."

I nod, "Right," I pause. "I might not go to the dance. I mean, I'll only go for the play. I was going to go with Jax, but I don't know. He isn't even a proper date. Kinda sucks being alone in a room full of people."

Clay smirks, "Well, you could come with me and Jackie, or Armani, Nixon-"

"Okay I get it, I have friends. I couldn't go with you because Jackie hates me, and I think Jax is the only person I would be comfortable going with. I mean, he's like an older brother to me. He'll take care of me," I smile.

Clay bursts out in laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just...it's so funny because he was actually gonna ask you to be his...and you just said he's like a..." she says in between laughter.

I stand there in shock, "Wait, what?"

She keeps laughing, "I mean, isn't it obvious? He's had a huge crush on you for months, and you have no idea!"

My jaw drops. I think back on the times I was with Jax. Okay, now I see it. "I'm so stupid!" I exclaim, falling onto the floor.

* * *

It's the night of the dress rehearsal. I have my long, pink Juliet dress on and some light makeup. Not too many people will be there, just the theater department and a few students and families. On the real day, everyone will be there.

I take a deep breath and look at Clay. She has a blue shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. She looks over at me and waves.

Alexandra walks backstage, "Alright, places, everyone! Remember, this isn't the real thing, so it's okay if you make mistakes. Dress rehearsals were made for to just overlook the play, we do them to make sure everyone has remembered their lines and everything is in order. Now, good luck!" she smiles at us and walks out on stage. "Oh, and don't forget, Romeo and Juliet, we haven't rehearsed the kissing scene yet, but you two should actually kiss today, alright?"

I hear her voice muffled on stage. She's talking to the audience about the play and when the real production will begin.

My stomach turns over and I start pacing around. I have to kiss Clay today. In front of an audience.

* * *

Act 1 is going well, but now we're at the end of scene five.

Where I kiss her.

Clay takes my hands and looks up at me. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

I take a deep breath and repeat my lines, "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,

Which mannerly devotion shows in this,

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."

"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do.

They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake," I say, nervously. Almost time.

"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take," Clay says, and leans closer to me.

I look down at her and touch my lips with hers. We pull back, and Clay stares at me. I smile at her and take a quick look at the audience.

Her eyes widen and she blushes, remembering what she has to do, "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged," she says after a long while.

"Then have my lips the sin that they have took," I hide a smile.

"Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again," she says and leans in once more.

We kiss again, this time, longer.

* * *

I walk backstage again. We finished the rehearsal, though we only had time to do acts one, two and three, but we're all pretty confident in the last two acts. I take a deep breath and walk into the girl's dressing room. The winter formal is on the last day before winter break, five days from Christmas, which is in a few days. I have a long blue dress, nowhere near as beautiful as the one I saw so long ago in the store.

I start taking off my dress and see Clay walk into the room. I have the urge to cover up, but I know I don't need to. It's the dressing room, all the girls are in their underwear. It is awkward, though. I've always been self conscious in the dressing room, ever since middle school.

Clay walks over to me. "You did good, Juliet."

I smirk, "Thanks, Romeo."

* * *

On the day before the dance, Jami and Shay walk around talking to everyone in homeroom. "Alright people, listen up! My parents are outta town, so guess what that means? Party! Party at my house after the winter formal, alright?" Jami says. They both come to mine and Clay's desk.

Shay smirks, "Guess what, lesbians? You aren't invited. Jami doesn't want any homos at her house, especially during the holidays, isn't that right?" She looks at Jami.

She smiles, "Yup. Don't want you guys to mess up the house with your-"

Shay glares at Jami, "Whatever, Jami, you guys get the idea."

I glance at Clay as they walk away and roll my eyes.

Clay smirks and whispers to me, "We're crashing the party, right?"

I laugh, "You sure? They're gonna kill us."

She shrugs, "Just another way to die."

I look at Shay and Jami, who are talking Monika and Cami and sigh, "Alright, I guess it'll be fun. Not a big fan of parties, but I'll give it a shot."

I sneakily take out my phone and send a group text.

* * *

So theres this party at jamis house after winterformal. we arent invited but...clay and i are going. u guys wanna join?

Clay smiles and looks outside. Her smile widens, "Looks like it's gonna snow soon."

I smirk, "Fun."

The bell rings and I stand up, "See you at lunch?"

She nods, "Always."

* * *

When we both get home, Clay and I flop onto the couch and watch the snow fall onto the ground. We had set up the tree yesterday, and hung a few ornaments on it for Christmas. I put the present with money for Clay under the tree already, with Clay annoyingly asking over and over like a kid "What is it? What is it? What is it?" I laughed and told her to wait until Christmas like a mom.

I look at the tree and wonder what else I should get for her. I don't have much money, so maybe I could get some kind of part-time job, not just for Christmas, but to buy more stuff. Necessities.

Clay turns on the tv and it opens on the news.

"A snowstorm is rolling into Jensen, which will cause the roads to freeze over. Temperatures will drop to as low as 10º Fahrenheit. Stay warm, and try not to drive. Schools will be canceling classes tomorrow due to the storm."

I raise my eyebrows as my phone rings. I look down at it and see the caller is Jensen High School.

I put the call on speaker, "Hello, this is a pre-recorded reminder from Jensen High School that school will be canceled tomorrow due to extreme weather. Thank you, and have a nice day."

I look at Clay and smile, "One day longer winter break."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now to write more because that’s all I have for now ssksksksks


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